This is a long post, don't expect it to be a well written either.
Here's the reason why ive never felt so low.
I started a job about 7 months ago, My coworkers were all fairly nice people especially two girls who were/are about my age. One tallish blonde and a smaller with brown hair.(who will be reffered to as Blonde girl and Brown haired girl)
In a desperate attempt to not be a geek i tried to be more outgoing around everybody. (Ive always been incredibly shy around anyone I don't know) It turns out they were both from Lithuania and had just moved to Enlgand. Infact where I work(ed) there are more foreigners than English.
Being good friends, they were seperated for talking to much and not doing enough work, but for some reason I was moved with the blonde one and we worked together for a few weeks. I noticed the brown haired girl had left but thought nothing of it since people come and go frequently there. A few changes were made an we were all put on different lines (i worked in a factory by the way) Me and the blonde waved at each other and exchanged pleasantries every now and then but nothing more.
Suddenly the brown haired girl came back and was put on my line, she was a lot quieter than the blonde. So I decided to make it my mission to talk to her, it was not easy but i always found some crap to talk about or ask. Anyway it was like this for a long time and i suddenly found myself being able to talk to everyone easier and wanting to come into work Just to talk to her. (the brown haired girl) I slowly became to really like her to the point where I thought of nothing else and the weekend was simply a long wait until I could see her again. It was incredibly hard to get anything out of her, I had to time it right so we would actually meet and even then I would only talk crap. I was putting in all the effort and it pissed me off that somedays she would not even say hello.
About a two weeks ago we were put on differnt lines again, but this time is hurt so much i felt like smashing something and lost my appetite, it was one of the most painfull weeks of my life but i knew it was only because i cared so much and knew I could not speak to her (trust me I couldn't)
I kinda panicked last week when me, her and a few other people were called into the office. I thought we were all going to be laid off. however we were the luky ones. Tons of people were laid off but we were simply moved to the morning shift. I couldn't have been more relieved but realised I had to make a move. I spent as much time as i could around her (at work) which was only the odd lunch breaks. I built up enough courage to tell her how I felt this wednesday. However she decided to spend the entire lunch break on her phone, another chance gone.
Early on Thursday I decided to write how I felt down incase she decided to ignore me again (which I felt was quite often) I handed her the note, which was incredibly poorly written and made me feel like a twat afterwards. Thats the sort of thing school kids do!
But She seemed really happy to recieve it but I couldn't help but wonder how she would react to it.
Today (Friday) Well She read the letter, I felt good about it I felt happy again for the first time in a long time. I was caught off guard contemplating my next move. When I was told I had to go to the office
Well a lot of us were in there (her too), I knew deep down that we were all laid off and was physically shaking. Still hoping perhaps we were getting put back on the afternoon shift. but then the dreaded words ive a few times before, "sorry we just have no more work for you all". Well I wasn't best pleased about this, she seemed happy enough about it and quickly dashed up stairs.
Then it hit me, I didn't know her phone number or address so this would be the last time we would ever see each other. I had to get to the exit before she did, I ran there and waited for what seemed hours, I had a terrible feeling that she had already left. But when i heard her voice, I turned and told her to stop. She had a massive smile as though she knew what was coming next, so i asked "I need to know, do you have a boyfriend?". She just said yes (still smiling) and walked away.
after collecting my things in a trance I got a lift home from my dad and even though noones want to cry infront of their dad i couldn't even speak before bursting into tears, i'm getting teary just writing this now.
So yeah, Ive lost my job and the one person ive ever liked enough to ask out. Life just does not seem worth the bother anymore. I wonder how can anyone else ever replace this girl that has been the one thing on my mind for months.
I don't know what you guys think about all this but i felt i needed to say something.
Aw mate that's terrible! Sorry to hear it. I've had my share of heartbreak but you always get over it no matter how bad it first seems. I suppose thats all I can offer you.
If its any consolation you should probably go on holiday to that part of the world. My grandfathers Polish and I've been over there a few times meeting family and that. Their attitude is so much better. There's a Polish girl on my course whose just got a brilliant outlook on life.
Dare I say... There are plenty more Lithuanian's in the sea Its probably not much to go with either, but at least you knew her. At least there's a little seed in your mind that she planted, you met her you knew her which is more than can be said for all of us. Rest on the fact that you have that up on us
god I'm so crap at this but still... it gets better
Yeh girls are kind of hard to understand - can never guess how they'll react to anything. Anyway sorry to hear about it, but I guess you can take some positive points out of it - being that you're more confident and everything now. I can barely talk to girls without saying something really stupid
I'm 20 now, I meet girls all the time and I ALWAYS say something stupid. Like theres this topless model on my course, and I'll accidentally say something shitty about breast enlargments or something equally retarded.
Just a curse most guys have i spose.
works on guys too. this mate I knew years ago had his thumb blown off by a pipebomb. For some reason when I was around him I'd always randomly shout BOOM!
A while ago, just after we started college, a friend of mine found this girl (who I must say is a stunner) that he really really liked. So things progress, he hangs round with her, walks around town with her - you know, simple stuff. After a bit he plucks up his courage and asks her out (on MSN, he's not that bold). She denies him.
After that, my friend gets really down, I mean REALLY down. He has to go to the doctor's about his depression, he won't talk to me or any of his other friends, he walks away whenever there's anyone around. Then, this other girl reaches out to him. She helps him through his bad times, cheers him up and that. Now they're boyfriend and girlfriend, and my mate is the happiest I've ever seen him.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel Andy, you've just got to believe that there is. Trust me, in a while you'll find someone else and forget about the Lithuanian.
Thats really really sad. You know- some girls will seem really friendly, and their smile will win you over, and they'll manage to look at you eye to eye, but never trust them. You need to know them for a very long time I believe, or you need to test them. They try to test us. My brothers realised this recently. My second eldest was texting a girl. My eldest told him she was testing him and that he shouldnt reply. Lol after 10 minutes she was texting him like crazy firing questions all over the place. It worked quite well! The story to be told from this? Nothing... im speaking shit again....
Wait.. no... Let them run after you, not vice versa!
Sorry to hear that Andy. I sure know how you feel, been through something similar myself, but just take it as experience, think positive and time will heal the rest.
looks like you gotta move on mate - I know that sounds kind of hard -but see life as a train journey with different stops - you is now boarding again - new stuff will happen (life dictates that)
to start press any key ...... where's the ANY KEY??
That's one of the saddest things Iive seen since the end of On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Good luck in the future, even if you feel like there isn't one.
If this were real life Andy, I'd get you a massive curry and take you out on the town with the boys. But it isn't real life, so you'll just have to get through it yourself.
Dammnnn andy thats sad to hear mate, Don't know what to say to help, just cheer up! plenty of mor chicks out there.
Some advice for next time though, ask if she has a boyfriend first off would be a good start lol
And confidence mate, if you got that you can walk upto any fine chick and talk to her and not feel stupid.
Pete Nattress Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif
Registered 23/09/2002
Points 4811
28th January, 2006 at 14:03:23 -
That's bad news, Andy, I sort of know how you feel with the whole building-up-confidence thing. Lots of people can tell a story similar to yours, and that is how life works out sometimes. Sucks I know but you'll get over it, and you'll be more experienced to boot. I guess there's a lesson to be learnt, that you really should find out if a girl you like has a boyfriend earlier on. There's more than one way to ask, and it doesn't have to look like you're coming on to them, just showing an interest. Watch some funny films, go out with your mates and get pissed, go and find a new job, you'll be better in no time.
About a year ago I'd often pop into a garden centre after working hard for a quick drink before making my way back home. This girl working there would catch my eye each time and we'd try not to look at each other. But after a while we would start to wave to each other - and one day (about 6 months later lol) she beckoned me over to her, and we started talking. It was quite obvious that we both fancied each other, and we would meet up there a few times. Then, just before I was to leave for my summer break in France, we had a couple more conversations. She was saying stuff like "you will think of me while you're away, won't you?", which would imply that she was interested. So I then decided to ask her out... for a drink down the pub or something... a coffee maybe? She then told me she already had a boyfriend - but if she were single, she would have asked me out without a second thought.
And that really isn't the kind of news you want to hear. It wasn't the fact that she had a boyfriend that got me upset, but what she said afterwards - she would have asked me out if she were single. To me that's a consolation prize that you don't want. I probably should have asked her first if she were single, like Crystal Clear said - but instead I felt depressed and cut my wrists.
The pain will go though Andy. That saying "time heals all wounds" will always prove to be true. Just make sure you don't do anything like self harming - you've had it worse than I, I suspect.
And to add something - Crystal Clear - It wouldn't be smart to ask if she had a boyfriend first, because then it would look like he was hitting on her, and she would talk less.
Ah yes, I remember those awkward times. The girls your age are intersted in older guys, you're too busy tripping over your own feet trying to make a good impression, etc. Those times pass (thank god).
It's all about getting shot down, tore up, and spit out until it just clicks one day. Females can be forgiving of almost anything (as long as you didn't do it to them, then you're on your own). Be you geek, unemployed, moronic, stupid; it doesn't matter.
A GF will probably make up the space tgf/mmf would nake in your life if they wweren't there. I never wan't to get married
(marriage is a piece of shit thing caused by rommanticicing writers who've never had intercourse in their whole life, even if they're 679 yrs old )
Just this evening/night/morning/whatever I tried ti hook up with a chick.i thought she was interested. "duuuuh!" is the inly suitable answer for the situation. I'm gonna lie down and (not maybe) sleep. I might (possibly) watch cartons until i loose conciousness of egones s but whevr. G'Night Y'all! (I's 7.390 A.M. here btw.)