Kramy for some reason I couldn't send you a PM so here it is.
Cavernia...
OK, here's the story. This guy named Trai, wakes up one night, and hears a gunshot. He realizes that the shot must have come from the Titus Ranch. Titus is the most powerful man in Cavernia. He owns the country's railroads, and subways, and many of the passenger ships wich leave the mainland to other islands.
Anyway, Trai realizes that the shots came from Titus Ranch, becuase Titus Ranch is HUGE. It stretches out for MILES. And Titus does not allow guns on his place. Not even to hunters. Trai jumps out of bed. He knows he must get to Titus. Someone could have killed and robbed him. (Objective 1: Get to Titus Ranch)-thus, the first playable section of the game...
When Trai gets to the ranch, all the lights are on in the mansion. He goes inside- And finds Titus sitting in a daze in his chair.
"Mr. Titus, what happened?"
"Someone has robbed me of my most prized possesion..."
"Whats been stolen?"
"The Blade Of The Ancestors."
"The what?"
"It's a priceless sword, passed down to me from my father, and he from his father. It's been in my family for generations..."
"I see..."
"Now everything I have worked for is lost Trai...Cavernia as we know it will be destroyed."
"Mr. Titus how important can this sword be? I mean it's just a-"
"Not just a sword Trai. It's the very sword that conquered this island for our people. Trai, storys have been told of this sword. Anyone who has ever weilded the sword, always defeated his enemys. I know. I held it in my hand during the Great War of 1836. Any time I held the sword, I was invinceble. (invincable?) Anyone who opposed me, was imedietly struck down. It was as if, the sword was controling my every movement. But there's somthing else. Trai, Read this."
Titus hands him a letter. It's a letter from the theif.
Mr. Titus,
I now have in my possesion, the most powerful object in all of Cavernia, as you well know. The Blade Of The Ancestors. I will not fail as my fore fathers before me. But I will reclaim the land that rightfully belongs to my family. We were here first. We will be here last.
I have spent twenty years waiting for this day Titus! Twenty years of assembleing an army strong enough to reconquer this land for my family. But now... You cannot stop me! With the very sword that struck down my people, I will conquer what is rightfully theirs. I will be invinceable.
Yours Truly
John Fraigger
Trai looks up, "He will be unstopable..."
"Trai there is but one thing to do. You must find and destroy the Sword..."
"DESTROY IT?"
"Yes it is the only way. The sword has fallen into the wrong hands. It's purpose has changed. The sword's power comes from the heart of the owner. It is now an object of conquest, no longer an object of protection. It must be destroyed."
"Yeah but, can't it's powers be changed again if we recover it?"
"No. Once changed, the sword is forever changed."
"My god..."
-------------------------
Anyway, Kramy, you get the idea. This game is gonna be HUGE! And hopefully a success. You can see why I need help.
By the way I'll send you the game as it is so far, by E_MAIL.
n/a
Assault Andy Administrator
I make other people create vaporware
Registered 29/07/2002
Points 5686
1st August, 2003 at 23:35:23 -
Hey that sounds like a nice idea for a game. I think i'll use that story in my next game, that will be released.... in 3 days.
Swords are gennerally a symbol of power, and protection, while shields are a symbol of heritage.
"The ancient shield of the kumyaqua is said to always protect us"
"The ancient shield of kumwadha was used to defeat the ancient tribes, and establish our empire"
"This sword has been the protecting force for us for generations"
"Using this sword my ancestors conquered the inhabitants here"
Those sound quite similar, but the difference is where the emphasise is...on the sword, or the heritage.
LOOK FIRE! I said, I have never even read the Lord of the Rings Books! I never even saw the movies. I had no idea that my story was that similar! I will change it. You know, you should think before you start talking crap about peoples games. So, NO,. It is not a LOTR Rip OFF! It was accidently similar. that's all. I had no idea, that the story was so close.
To be honest, I don't think it sounds like LOTR, the storyline is not original, but it is very good (Trey's). Nice thinkin' Trey
My signature is never too big!!!
Pete Nattress Cheesy Bits img src/uploads/sccheesegif
Registered 23/09/2002
Points 4811
2nd August, 2003 at 13:44:37 -
my reasons for my "accusation":
"Someone has robbed me of my most prized possesion..." - Bilbo robbed both gollum and saruman of the ring
"The Blade Of The Ancestors." - the ring
"Not just a sword Trai. It's the very sword that conquered this island for our people. Trai, storys have been told of this sword. Anyone who has ever weilded the sword, always defeated his enemys. I know. I held it in my hand during the Great War of 1836. Any time I held the sword, I was invinceble. (invincable?) Anyone who opposed me, was imedietly struck down. It was as if, the sword was controling my every movement." - VERY lord of the rings-esque; the ring provides power, etc
"You must find and destroy the Sword..." - Frodo must destroy the ring
dont worry trey, i believe that you haven't seen the films/read the books. i was just commenting on the similarites. but you really should at least watch the films. especially if your in to this kinda genre.
Assault Andy Administrator
I make other people create vaporware
Registered 29/07/2002
Points 5686
4th August, 2003 at 06:40:41 -
Why don't you make it about a bucket, and a shoe. And they go through a "magical" adventure around your house. Then they run into enemies and they can merdge to become ulti-shoe and then you get cool laser eyes. And your shoelaces turn into firewhips. Now that i think about that, it would make a pretty cool game!
Now to the point. Your story sort of sounds like LOTR but it's still fine. And I do think it sounds very generic. Meaning this is the sort of story that all games have, no nasty twists or nothing. Eg. Go find something, once done save the world. Get me? Another example of generic storyline is, must collect all 10 "Mighty Magic Keys" to open the door to the "Shadow Realm" where you will fight "Lord Darkness" and once he is defeated you will also save the world.
I know writing a storyline isn't easy, but having some nice twists and turns (maybe even humour) can make a storyline much more enjoyable.
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