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Kirby Smith

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6th January, 2005 at 13:17:34 -

Never read the books. Thought the art direction looked impressive so I went to the sneak. Sort of ties into the ever present gameplay > graphics argument in a way...

 
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Ben Berntsen



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6th January, 2005 at 21:24:19 -

I must jump to the defense of Plan 9 from Outer Space. No movie that entertaining should ever be labeled as bad. My friends and I had more fun watching Plan 9 than any three other movies combined! We laughed all the way through Van Helsing too, so I won't call that "bad" either.

Movies that are actually bad - as in, so bad you can't even laugh at them.

Daredevil - Ben Affleck... AND Jennifer Garner... AND Collin Farrel... What could be worse than that? Oh yeah... the fact that they're making a SEQUEL!

Planet of the Apes (Remake) - Whose idea was this? This movie could never have surpassed the original since it lacks Charleton Heston running around swearing and punching monkeys in the face.

Inspector Gadget - This movie raped my childhood. The show will never be the same.

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor - This one WOULD have been entertainingly bad if it weren't for the fact that it's Star Wars. Having seen this, I wasn't surprised at all how crappy the Star Wars prequels turned out. George got lucky with the first three. And after seeing this movie, I have come to loath Ewoks like I loath the bubonic plague.

The Fast and the Furious - Good lord, how can ANYONE like this movie? It was so bad I wanted to mash it up, use it for toilet paper, then sell it on Ebay. "The cars were cool" - So play Need for Speed and spare yourself the mental anguish of being subjected to this cinematic disaster.

Red Planet - I loved this movie. Then I found out it WASN'T based on true events, and Val Kilmer still resides on planet Earth. CRAP!

A.I.: Artificial Intelligence - This could have been the title for a biography about Stanley Kubrick. He was the worst director ever to taint celluloid. Yes, worse than Ed Wood, because Ed Wood's movies were flops. Anyway this "tribute" to him is as every bit as unflattering as it should be. Spielberg should be ashamed.

Windtalkers - Yes that's right, kids, we won WWII by sending in Nicholas Cage who single handedly killed twenty platoons of Japenese WHILE carrying an injured comrade. I like John Woo but he betrayed me with this one.

Okay... I just realized I have a very long list, so I'll stop there instead of assuming everyone cares. :^)

 
Last time I had lobster, it reminded me of biology class. Except in biology class the professor didn't make you eat the frog when you were finished.

Radix

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6th January, 2005 at 21:36:49 -

This could have been the title for a biography about Stanley Kubrick. He was the worst director ever to taint celluloid.

CONGRATULATIONS! BEN BERNTSEN has achieved the rank of COMPLETE MORON!

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Ben Berntsen



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6th January, 2005 at 21:47:10 -

Flame away. You couldn't get me to watch 2001 again if you threatened to set my grandmother on fire.

 
Last time I had lobster, it reminded me of biology class. Except in biology class the professor didn't make you eat the frog when you were finished.

Radix

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6th January, 2005 at 22:06:37 -

Oh, it's not a flame. It's what your white light'll look like behind the screen glare.

A) Even if 2001 were his worse film, and it were made today, there are hundreds of worse contemporary directors out there.

B) There's nothing wrong with the direction in 2001. Act II is quite well done. Acts I and III are just boring and downright wierd. How you're supposed to direct a bunch of chimps I don't know, you just point the camera at them and use the best footage you can get. By today's standards it's a crap movie, but back then it was extremely influential. Nobody had ever seen anything like it before.

C) Full Metal Jacket stands alone as one of the best war movies ever made.

 
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Kirby Smith

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7th January, 2005 at 04:48:00 -

Stanley Kubrick is one of the greatest directors to ever live. Right up there with Ridley Scott in my book.

 
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Teapot

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7th January, 2005 at 05:12:51 -

Actually, I gotta hand it to you, plan 9 was bloody entertaining.

@Santa Christ: The books aren't supposed to be deep, the writing style is where it's at. I have read all the books so far, they get a lot less formulaic further on.

Kubrick got too weird later on, but he is still a great director, up there with Gilliam and Ridley Scott.

@Muz: I thought Spiderman 2 was a huge improvement over the first. It took a little too much to make it character driven, it could have been done more subtelty.
I agree, Hellboy was excellent... but D&D? Man that was so terrible (I dont know anyone else who'd seen it, I formed that opinion myself).

@ JP: Unfortunately, your mispelling of 'audience' makes stop assuming that their audiance is stupid look a tad hypocritical. Although having Tom Baker in a film is always a plus.

Adding to the list:

Mission Impossible 2
Josie and the Pussycats
Head over Heels
D4
Goldmember
Cradle 2 the Grave


Image Edited by the Author.

Image Edited by the Author.

 
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CsaR

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7th January, 2005 at 06:55:11 -

Adding to the list:
*Dracula 2000 & Dracula 3000
*House of the flying daggers (did you guys notice when that guy shot arrows against the 4 soldiers all the arrows arrived at the same time O_o , and what's up with making the daggers curve 90 degrees?)
*Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (I fell asleep sometime after 30 minutes into the film)
*Dungeons and Dragons (even though mentioned here before I have to mention it again)

I would say King Arthur aswell but Stellan Skarsgård made that film worth watching anyway!


 
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Ben Berntsen



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7th January, 2005 at 08:21:47 -

King Arthur was pretty sad. Even Keira Knightly couldn't ease my pain. For one thing, if you take the legend out of King Arthur it does not make a good popcorn flick. That's what legends were. These guys should've made a documentary... hosted by Keira Knightly! Yeah, there we go!

Plus they didn't even succeed at being "historically accurate". Since when to girls run around wearing nothing but belts in freezing cold temparatures in the middle of a battle? And Arthur's character was very annoyingly postmodern, as were the movie's opinions on Christianity.

EVEN if the movie had anything going for it besides Keira, it still would've sucked.

 
Last time I had lobster, it reminded me of biology class. Except in biology class the professor didn't make you eat the frog when you were finished.

JP



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7th January, 2005 at 15:20:30 -

Piss off teapot, 80wpm and I don't have to edit my posts twice.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

Teapot

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8th January, 2005 at 03:35:15 -

Haha, I was just joking in my own little nerdy way JP.

@Ben: I know what you mean! The whole film was both inaccurate to history and to the legend.

 
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JP



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8th January, 2005 at 05:31:51 -

It's ok, no harm done.

 
Steve Zissou: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie: No, they have to share one.

Radix

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9th January, 2005 at 16:58:50 -

I quite liked King Arthur. The 'ordinary' version is just too silly. and cliched, but I really liked this interpretation. I just wish it had been called Arthur or something rather than King Arthur, because he isn't really a king and a lot og people would have gone in there expecting the old sort of camelot stories, especially since the advertising campaign made it look like there was a lot of magic and crap going on.

 
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Teapot

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10th January, 2005 at 06:48:48 -

It was somewhat enjoyable, but too silly to be watched without crigeing.

 
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Retired Kliker Lazarus

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10th January, 2005 at 13:20:58 -

Kirby- Yeah, the artwork did look impressive, but I would have waited for it to come out of DVD so I could rent it. We have a 'Regal Cinima' around here, and they charge about 10$ per person.


 
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